


i used to think maybe you loved me / now baby i’m sure

by kattyshack



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Getting Together, Humor, Meddling, Relationship Reveal, Romance, Scheming, Secret Relationship, Sneaking Around, Texting, rated m in ch2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 08:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19353220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattyshack/pseuds/kattyshack
Summary: Theon and Sansa might have a secret, and all of their friends just might be trying to catch them at it.word prompt (that was supposed to be a drabble but here we are): ‘concilliabule’ — a secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot(title from “walking on sunshine,” by katrina & the waves)





	i used to think maybe you loved me / now baby i’m sure

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: for @thesushimonster + @theonsablr + @thewintersoldierdisaster

**_ARYA STARK created the chat OPERATION FUCK_ **

**_ARYA STARK added GENDRY WATERS, BRAN STARK, RICKON STARK, MARGAERY TYRELL, and PODRICK PAYNE to the chat_ **

**RICKON** : arya you accidentally added us to one of your sex chats with gendry again

 **GENDRY** : Excuse me  
What

 **RICKON** : ‘operation fuck’  
i mean  
come on

 **GENDRY** : What do you mean ‘AGAIN’ ???

 **ARYA** : gdi rickon  
gendry wasn’t supposed to know about that  
i nicked his phone and deleted the evidence before he saw  
and now all my effort’s been wasted

 **GENDRY** : ““effort”” ???  
WHAT DID YOU DO??

 **ARYA** : climbed in your window while you were at work  
you really ought to stop leaving your phone behind, btw

 **GENDRY** : Climbed in my  
ARYA I LIVE ON THE FOURTH FLOOR

 **ARYA** : and what of it?  
i know how to climb shit gendry i’m a gymnast  
which i’m suuuuuuure you’ll recall

 **BRAN** : Okay, NOW it’s turning into a sex chat.

 **MARGAERY** : I don’t mind

 **BRAN** : Think of the children.

 **MARGAERY** : What children? I am a sophisticated, worldly woman  
You, Bran, have THE most ancient aura I’ve ever encountered on this, the mortal plane  
Arya and Gendry have sex chats, so that’s all said and done  
Rickon? Absolutely watches porn  
Podrick? AS IF we haven’t all heard the rumours

 **RICKON** : way to air out my business like that damn margaery

 **PODRICK** : Same. ???

 **MARGAERY**. Oh, please, both of you. Everyone knows

 **RICKON** : i am no longer participating in this heinous libel

 **PODRICK** : I don’t kiss and tell.

 **MARGAERY** : No, dear, but girls do  
Take it for a compliment

 **GENDRY** : I still can’t believe you broke into my home

 **ARYA** : quiet, you

 **ARYA** : okay now that we’ve all established that gendry and i’ve got it goin’ on and podrick knows how to show a girl (or multiple girls at once from what i heard) a world-rockin yet respectful good time  
also that rickon is gross  
let’s talk about what OPERATION FUCK is really about

 **MARGAERY** : Me and Yara?  
Because we’re already fucking

 **ARYA** : close  
but not really  
it’s about sansa and theon  
who are also definitely already fucking  
but they’re NOT TELLING ANYONE and i’m offended

 **BRAN** : Is that why Robb and Jon aren’t included in this titillating conversation?

 **ARYA** : right-o  
robb would monopolize the chat with his shakespearean theatrics and if jon knew, he’d tattle to robb straightaway bc he claims not to be here for ~The Drama~  
which is, like, bullshit  
but not the point

 **PODRICK** : But why am *I* here?

 **RICKON** : yeah wondering the same for myself  
i don’t want to hear about any of you fucking

 **MARGAERY** : Porn, but make it your friends and immediate family

 **RICKON** : i’m calling child services

 **GENDRY** : Take me with you

 **RICKON** : no????  
you’re clearly a full-grown man

 **ARYA** : NO ONE IS GOING ANYWHERE  
we are gonna make sansa and theon spill the sexy beans  
and we’re gonna do it as a team  
but on the DL  
they can’t know we know  
or we’ll never know  
you know?

 **RICKON** : no

 **MARGAERY** : YES

 **PODRICK** : I’d prefer not.

 **BRAN** : I don’t suppose we’ve got a choice in the matter.

 **GENDRY** : I’m still mad about the b&e, Arya we need to talk about boundaries again

 **ARYA** : @gendry no we don’t!!!!  
@margaery that’s the spirit!!  
@everyone else TOO BAD WE’RE DOING IT  
your assignments are as follows:

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

*****

**THEON** : morning, love x

 **SANSA** : It’s well past noon, LAAAZYbones. x

 **THEON** : oh right well  
SOMEONE wouldn’t let me go to bed when i got home from work at two in the morning so  
i’m rather spent, as you can imagine

 **SANSA** : Hm, yes, well I suppose that’s what you get for mixing me free drinks all night.

 **THEON** : gods who knew i could get you to jump on me like a jungle cat just for a few amarettos?

 **SANSA** : I certainly knew it about a full year before you bothered to do anything about it.

 **THEON** : sansa love we’ve been going out for a month now  
LET IT GO

 **SANSA** : Don’t think I will, thanks.

 **THEON** : what if i do that thing you like?

 **SANSA** : Which thing?

 **THEON** : the one where i worship you completely and tirelessly and every day for the rest of our lives

 **SANSA** : You’ve been doing that since you were nineteen.

 **THEON** : I KNOW  
i’ve been trying to woo you for like eight years  
you’d think you’d cut me a break

 **SANSA** : And I had no idea you were serious until a month ago.

 **THEON** : surely you knew two months ago at least  
when you were wretchedly ill and i, ever the benevolent soul, risked my own health to nurse you back to yours  
and snog you once the congestion wore off  
but  
i digress

 **SANSA** : Right, it doesn’t count as benevolence when you got into my knickers.

 **THEON** : well  
fine  
but it should count as you knowing that i’ve been mad about you the whole time

 **SANSA** : I really did think you just wanted a fling. I was just determined to make you fall too madly in love with me to end things.

 **THEON** : and you did  
sort of  
i’ve been madly in love with you for a bit so that was already happening  
but now you KNOW  
and i KNOW you know because we’ve had the same conversation every time we’ve slept together since i finally professed my very serious romantic intentions to you  
so like eighty-seven times now, minimum

 **SANSA** : It’s the honeymoon stage. All we’re supposed to do is talk and sleep together. Which is why I’m on my way back over, after a miserable six hours apart. (But I’ve got to be out of there by three for my meeting.)

 **THEON** : (ofc i’ll let you leave for your meeting, how else are you going to afford all that lingerie i like so much if i let you skive off work?)  
i’m banking on us talking and sleeping together far beyond the honeymoom stage, my love  
so you really ought to have some mercy on me

 **SANSA** : I think you rather like it when I don’t.

 **THEON** : ::pants::  
yes mistress sansa

 **SANSA** : I hate you.

 **THEON** : you’re a goddess. xx  
tell me you love me

 **SANSA** : I tolerate you.

 **THEON** : CLOSE ENOUGH  
see you soon  
om nom nom

*****

**MARGAERY** : Yara love of my life and star of my most erotic fantasies

 **YARA** : What do you want?

 **MARGAERY** : Why, nothing but your adoration and impressive upper body strength of course

 **YARA** : If that’s all you wanted you would’ve sent me nudes  
No, it’s something else.

 **MARGAERY** : Ugh, you Greyjoys are such the suspicious lot

 **YARA** : You can’t trust a pretty rich girl  
Why d’you think Theon has an asthma attack every time Sansa Stark bats those baby blues his way?  
Bc he knows he’ll literally do anything she asks him to, he hasn’t got a choice

 **MARGAERY** : Funny you should mention Theon and Sansa……

 **YARA** : What’s with the excessive ellipses?

 **MARGAERY** : Oh I think you know

 **YARA** : Fuck me, Marg, would you just tell me what you’re on about? You know I hate this murder mystery shit

 **MARGAERY** : I know. *pouts* It’s why you never come to any of the dinner theatres I host, no matter how extravagant or award-winningly performed, or how skimpy my costumes

 **YARA** : I’ve seen you naked ‘round about a thousand times  
I love you and shit but I don’t need to see you in another feathered robe

 **MARGAERY** : I really haven’t got the time to argue about my collection of feathered robes with you again  
This isn’t about my robes. Or murder, for that matter  
It’s about Theon and Sansa

 **YARA** : What about them?

 **MARGAERY** : Do you really not know?

 **YARA** : Oh my fucking —  
NO, hot stuff, I don’t

 **MARGAERY** : So you can neither confirm nor deny that you’ve ever, say, walked into the backroom of the bar and caught them snogging?

 **YARA** : Theon knows better than to snog on the clock  
Since when’s he snogging Stark, anyway?

 **MARGAERY** : UGH no one knows!! That’s what we’re trying to figure out!

 **YARA** : ‘We’ ????

*****

**_MARGAERY TYRELL added YARA GREYJOY to the chat OPERATION FUCK_ **

**YARA** : Ha. Nice.

 **ARYA** : MARGAERY this was supposed to be a COVERT OPERATION  
you can’t just go adding family members of the accused all willy-fuckin-nilly

 **YARA** : Looks like half Sansa’s family is already in on this.

 **BRAN** : Not by choice.

 **RICKON** : i’m still pretending it’s not happening tbh

 **MARGAERY** : She doesn’t know anything, anyway, so quite unfortunately my role in this grand scheme has come to a standstill

 **ARYA** : all the more reason for the rest of these chumps to get off their stupid arses and DO THEIR JOBS

 **BRAN** : Fine.  
You have my PayPal information.

 **RICKON** : wait  
you’re getting PAID for this????

 **BRAN** : I get paid for everything.  
We don’t need to talk about it.

 **RICKON** : what the hell

*****

**ROBB** : Anyone for lunch?

 **ARYA** : why is it that you always want to go for lunch?  
what are you, some old-money widow with nothing better to do than have lunch on the terrace and dismiss her servants for not cutting the tea sandwiches just so?

 **ROBB** : ????? I just wanted to have lunch??

 **ARYA** : no  
we’re busy

 **BRAN** : Yes, quite tied up at the moment.

 **RICKON** : i could eat

 **ARYA** : NO RICKON

 **RICKON** : :o

 **ROBB** : …What’s going on? Where’s Sansa? She never lets you be mean to me for this long

 **ARYA** : oh please it’s been five seconds

 **SANSA** : Be nice to Robb.

 **ROBB** : a-HA!!

 **SANSA** : Rain check on lunch for me today, though, sorry. Busy. Maybe sometime later in the week?

 **ROBB** : God it’s like I don’t even have a family anymore

 **ARYA** : okay maybe calm down, tho

 **ROBB** : I can’t calm down, I have low blood sugar  
THIS IS WHY I NEED TO GO TO LUNCH

 **ARYA** : whatever you say ~madam~

*****

**ROBB** : Want to grab something to eat at the pub?

 **THEON** : sorry, mate. busy. rain check?

 **ROBB** : Bah you sound just like Sansa

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **THEON** : what  
no i don’t  
i don’t even  
who’s sansa

 **ROBB** : What?  
Why is everyone being so weird today?

 **THEON** : who’s being weird???  
not me

 **ROBB** : …………  
Okaaaaay whatever  
You and Sansa owe me lunch on Thursday

 **THEON** : both of us? at the same time?  
i don’t know  
i’m sure you wouldn’t want me to impose on a stark sibling lunch

 **ROBB** : Are you kidding? Theon you’ve imposed on every family meal since we were like ten. It’s not even an imposition at this point, it’s just a given

 **THEON** : maybe sansa will feel like it’s an imposition  
who’s to say???  
she might not even like me

 **ROBB** : Yes she does ??? jfc why are you acting like you don’t know her or something?

 **THEON** : i mean  
does anyone really **know** anyone else?

 **ROBB** : What  
Yes, Theon  
They do

 **THEON** : well i suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree, then

*****

**ROBB** : What did you do to Theon?

 **SANSA** : _typing…_

 **SANSA** : Excuse me?

 **ROBB** : I said you both owe me lunch this week and he’s acting weird about it, like he can’t be around you or something

 **SANSA** : Oh, that.

 **ROBB** : … ‘oh, that’? Do you know what I’m talking about, then?

 **SANSA** : _typing…_

 **SANSA** : Well, it is Theon. I could hazard a guess or two.

 **ROBB** : Right. Okay. So are you two having another tiff over the best flavours of saltwater taffy or whether or not your skirt’s too short, or what?

 **SANSA** : No, you know Theon — I just buy him a pack of the blue raspberry and wear something worthy of a citation for public indecency, and we’re best friends again just like that.

 **ROBB** : Hey he’s MY best friend, back off

 **SANSA** : We all know I’m his favourite. Not your fault, just a force of nature none of us can control.

 **ROBB** : Hmmph.  
Aren’t you supposed to be busy? Quit taking the piss and go do your busy things

 **SANSA** : Of course, you’re right. Must be off. Speak later.

*****

**ROBB** : Do you ever get the feeling there’s something going on that no one’s telling you about?

 **JON** : I prefer to stay out of everything that could possibly be going on at all times.

 **ROBB** : Useless.

 **JON** : Just as I like it.

*****

**BRAN** : Hey, Theon.

 **RICKON** : yeah, hey theon

 **THEON** : christ can i go one day without one of you stark blighters blowing up my phone??

 **BRAN** : It was two texts.

 **RICKON** : yeah why so testy

 **THEON** : i am BUSY

 **BRAN** : Oh, yeah?

 **RICKON** : whatcha doin?

 **THEON** : about to block your numbers, that’s what i’m doing

 **BRAN** : Don’t be like that.

 **RICKON** : we just wanna talk

 **THEON** : #BYE

**_THEON GREYJOY left the chat_ **

**BRAN** : Aaaaaand he’s gone.

*****

**BRAN** : Annoying Theon into telling us he’s with Sansa didn’t work, just as I told you it wouldn’t.

 **RICKON** : he blocked us  
like for real  
for real for real

 **YARA** : He blocks me at least once a month. He’ll get over it.

 **ARYA** : wait do you mean that theon’s with sansa like in a relationship  
or like he’s physically with her right now?

 **BRAN** : Both, I suppose. But he’s definitely with her right now.

 **RICKON** : yeah he was pissed  
said he was busy  
like  
~busaaaaaaaaaaayyyy~  
you know?

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

 **BRAN** : _typing…_

 **MARGAERY** : _typing…_

 **YARA** : _typing…_

 **RICKON** : like sex

 **ARYA** : ffs rickon YES we know

 **RICKON** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **ARYA** : seven hells  
@podrick you’re up

 **PODRICK** : Sigh.

*****

**PODRICK** : Hey, mate, got a second?

 **THEON** : oh my GOD  
you too????

 **PODRICK** : Me too what?

 **THEON** : you know, i keep my phone on at all times for EMERGENCIES ONLY  
like in case yara’s bar catches fire again  
or if one of my shit uncles finally kicks it  
or if my dad needs someone to shout at because he’s a prick  
or more importantly if one of the girls needs a ride somewhere or if one of you idiots is drunk in the gutter again because that’s my duty as the designated sober friend and shit  
i DON’T keep it on just so you lot can text me incessantly about nothing on my day off

 **PODRICK** : Sheesh, you haven’t got to bite my head off, it’s not as though I know what you’re doing all day.

 **THEON** : what do you WANT pod??

 **PODRICK** : Just to ask you about Sansa.

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **THEON** : what about sansa?

 **PODRICK** : You two are BFFs, yeah?

 **THEON** : yeah………  
i mean don’t tell robb but yeah

 **PODRICK** : So you know if she’s seeing anyone?

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **PODRICK** :Just that, I know she’s had some bad luck in the past so she’s cautious and I dunno how long it’s been since she’s even wanted to give anyone a go, but…

 **THEON** : but WHAT

 **PODRICK** : Well I’ve been thinking of asking her out.

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **THEON** : asking her out? to where??  
church?? quilting circle?? an abstinence club meeting??

 **PODRICK** : Not quite what I had in mind, no.

 **THEON** : literally those are your only three options  
or i’m kicking your arse

 **PODRICK** : Now WHY would you do that, hmm?

 **THEON** : uh because i fuckin feel like it that’s why

 **PODRICK** : Because I want to ask Sansa for a date?

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **THEON** : because you SUCK

 **PODRICK** : Right, unfair, but anyway  
Sooooo…  
Can I ask her or what?

 **THEON** : you can go fuck yourself that’s what you can do

 **PODRICK** : O.O

*****

**ARYA** : so did it work???

 **PODRICK** : Ooooh, yeah. He’s gonna try to knock my teeth out when he sees me next, bet. I’ll forward you my medical bills.

 **ARYA** : knew i was saving my trust fund for something  
#worthit

 **GENDRY** : So are we done with this yet or

 **ARYA** : NO  
neither of them have confessed!!!  
we’re so close to victory i can taste it  
can’t you taste it, gendry!?!  
CAN’T YOU??

 **GENDRY** : Oh my god you have got to stop  
This competitive streak is not good for you

 **ARYA** : what are you talking about you love this about me  
gets you hot  
you’ve told me so on several occasions  
right before you ravished me

 **GENDRY** : _typing…_

 **YARA** : Ayyyyy nice

 **MARGAERY** : Hubba hubba

 **BRAN** : Bah.

 **RICKON** : i have child services on speed dial fyi jsyk

 **GENDRY** : FFS

*****

**ROBB** : Arya…

 **ARYA** : who dat  
don’t know her

 **ROBB** : Is something going on??

 **ARYA** : lot of things, i’m sure

 **ROBB** : But like  
One specific thing  
That everyone but me knows about

 **ARYA** : paranoid much??  
come off it robb your self-esteem’s too high for this behaviour

 **ROBB** : It has nothing to do with my self-esteem I know I’m perfect

 **ARYA** : wow okay don’t undersell it i guess

 **ROBB** : I just  
I have this…  
Feeling

 **ARYA** : ha okay BRAN  
or has margaery been reading your aura?  
OR  
have you gotten into another leading online quiz about what your horoscope and your favourite salsa or whatever says about you?

 **ROBB** : I’m serious!!

 **ARYA** : well no one knows what you’re talking about so  
goodbye forever

 **ROBB** : ?? How is that I’M the one with the reputation as the dramatic one in this family??

 **ARYA** : *~i’m leeeeeavin’ on a jet plane  
don’t know when i’ll be back again~*  
(yes i do)  
(never)  
(PEACE)

*****

**ARYA** : oi sansa  
got a mo’?

 **ARYA** : …sansa?

 **ARYA** : saaaaaaaansypants

 **ARYA** : ?????  
have you been taken???

 **ARYA** : you can’t just NOT answer me when i ask you that

 **ARYA** : SANSA  
WE HAD A DEAL  
YOU NEED TO RESPOND ASAP TO THAT QUESTION  
OR I *WILL* GO LIAM NEESON ALL OVER THIS DAMN TOWN

 **SANSA** : Do NOT go Liam Neeson. Last time you did that, Mum and Dad had to pay a settlement to Roose Bolton because you literally swung from a makeshift grappling hook into his dining room window. Liam Neeson doesn’t even do that, and I was only on a conference call.

 **ARYA** : yeah well his son was looking at you funny at that charity event the weekend before  
so

 **SANSA** : Yes, I remember. I also remember Theon showing up to brunch the next day with a black eye and a broken hand, followed by news that Ramsay was leaving for Last Hearth ‘on business’ for an indeterminate time. Which is more than fine, of course, but my point is that you’re both ridiculous.

 **ARYA** : reckon we both had the right of it actually but whatever

 **SANSA** : Yes, well. What did you need?

 **ARYA** : oh nothing in particular

 **SANSA** : …You texted half a dozen times in escalating tones of panic for ‘nothing in particular’?

 **ARYA** : yes i did

 **SANSA** : You do know I’m rather busy today, don’t you?

 **ARYA** : oh ARE you  
ARE YOU???

 **SANSA** : Yes.

 **ARYA** : well isn’t that all very INTERESTING hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **SANSA** : _typing…_

 **SANSA** : I’m going to go now. I’ll text you when I’m done for the day, yeah?

 **ARYA** : oh yes pleeeeeease do

 **SANSA** : …Alright…

 **ARYA** : ( ಠ_ಠ)

*****

**GENDRY** : Listen mate  
Everyone knows

 **THEON** : everyone knows what?

 **GENDRY** : About you and Sansa

 **THEON** : _typing…_

 **THEON** : what… about… me and sansa?

 **GENDRY** : Man have you forgotten that I caught you two in the shower together a couple of weeks ago?

 **THEON** : DID YOU TELL???

 **GENDRY** : NO  
Arya’s been onto you for awhile, said it was obvious you both wanted something to happen and then she just started assuming something had ALREADY happened  
Which, you know  
She’s right

 **THEON** : fuck me is this why everyone’s been trying to piss me off all day??

 **GENDRY** : Yup

 **THEON** : omg does podrick even really fancy her???

 **GENDRY** : Nope

 **THEON** : damn i was a right prick to him  
although i DID make sweet sweet love to sansa after that just to establish dominance

 **GENDRY** : Stop

 **THEON** : gave her the ride of her life honestly i should probably be thanking pod at this point  
or would that be weird?

 **GENDRY** : S T O P

 **THEON** : is an edible arrangement too much, do you think?

 **GENDRY** : Omfg

 **THEON** : whatever. as if we haven’t all been accidentally added to your and arya’s sex chats before

 **GENDRY** : HOW OFTEN HAS THAT HAPPENED

 **THEON** : listen we can talk about your problems later  
right now is about me  
tell me everything so that sansa and i can emotionally prepare

 **GENDRY** : What, are you finally telling everyone?

 **THEON** : would’ve preferred a bit more time to ourselves, but as everyone’s apparently hell-bent on interrupting our day in bed…  
might as well make them wildly uncomfortable with texting us for a little while

 **GENDRY** : Suppose that’s fair  
So anyway

 **GENDRY** : _typing…_

*****

**GENDRY** : Look I got Theon to ‘fess up  
Can we be done with this now?

 **ARYA** : dhskkdjdkskskd  
NOPE

*****

**_ARYA STARK added SANSA STARK, THEON GREYJOY, ROBB STARK, and JON SNOW to the chat OPERATION FUCK_ **

**MARGAERY** : Oh NOW it’s a party

 **ARYA** : BUSTED

 **ROBB** : What?

 **JON** : Why

 **RICKON** : welcome to hell, broskies

 **SANSA** : Lovely chat name, that.

 **BRAN** : It was Arya’s idea.

 **ARYA** : what’s wrong with the chat name??

 **THEON** : yeah, i object  
kindly change it to ‘operation theon has been trying to make tender sweet love to sansa all day but her meddlesome family won’t stop cockblocking for no reason whatsoever’

 **ROBB** : _typing…_

 **ROBB** : WHAT

 **ARYA** : yeah i agree with robb  
that FAR surpasses the character limit

 **ROBB** : That is NOT what I meant

 **ARYA** : orly wow we’re all sooooo surprised blah blah blah

 **ROBB** : IS THIS WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON ALL DAY?????

 **THEON** : been going on for ‘round about two months now, actually

 **ROBB** : _typing…_

 **ARYA** : _typing…_

 **YARA** : Bloody hell what is wrong with this family?

 **ROBB** : WHAT

 **ARYA** : TWO MONTHS???

 **BRAN** : Hm. Would’ve guessed longer.

 **RICKON** : yeah?  
i would’ve guessed that i DON’T CARE

 **JON** : Neither do I  
Arya, why do you make me part of these things?

 **ARYA** : WE’RE ALL PART OF IT JON  
THIS IS A FAMILY AFFAIR

 **JON** : :|

**_JON SNOW left the chat_ **

**GENDRY** : Can he do that??

 **PODRICK** : That was an option??

 **ARYA** : only for jon  
he doesn’t like to participate  
moody bastard

 **ROBB** : I have said WHAT ninety billion times and STILL no one has done me the courtesy of EXPLAINING

 **THEON** : s’cuse me  
but you said it like three times, and i DID explain  
‘operation theon has been trying to make tender sweet love to sansa all day but her meddlesome family won’t stop cockblocking for no reason whatsoever’

 **MARGAERY** : Mmmm delightful

 **SANSA** : This really wasn’t the ideal way to tell you all but, well, seems you all knew already.

 **ROBB** : ???????? I DIDN’T

 **SANSA** : Well you certainly do now.

 **ROBB** : I CERTAINLY DO

 **SANSA** : Right. So. Not much point in further pretense, you see.

 **ARYA** : i can’t believe this has been going on for TWO MONTHS and you never said anything

 **YARA** : I don’t really care, but I’m surprised Theon never said anything, either. Figured he’d be right chuffed, wouldn’t be able to resist telling everyone he knew  
And plenty of people he doesn’t know, too  
Just stopping everybody on the street, ‘Oi, did you hear? I’m shagging Sansa Stark.’

 **THEON** : oh i’ll absolutely be doing that now  
so @podrick BACK OFF

 **ROBB** : PODRICK????  
NOT YOU TOO

 **PODRICK** : No, not me. I was only trying to goad Theon into telling the truth on pain of death, probably.  
I actually don’t know what Arya would’ve done if any of us defied her, but I’m assuming murder.

 **ARYA** : good instinct

 **BRAN** : Well, now that’s all settled, are we dismissed?

 **ARYA** : yes thank you all for your enthusiasm today  
except not really, bunch of miserable sods

 **MARGAERY** : Why, I had a marvelous good time!

 **ARYA** : yeah you’re golden, marg  
and gendry sort of  
he got me the screenshots i needed so he’s gonna get fucked later

 **BRAN** : And that’s it for me.

**_BRAN STARK left the chat_ **

**_RICKON STARK left the chat_ **

**ROBB** : I have no idea what I should do at this point  
Or with my life in general  
I am…… distraught

 **THEON** : ffs mate calm down  
i’m not like debauching her   
i’m gonna marry her and everything

 **SANSA** : I’m sure Talisa’s got smelling salts in her medicine bag. A hot water bottle, perhaps? Or a Valium. Or several.

 **ROBB** : Right.  
Well then  
I’ll speak to you all in… several days  
When I’ve recovered from the shock  
Love to you all  
I GUESS  
((please never use the words ‘operation fuck’ around me ever again))

**_ROBB STARK left the chat_ **

**THEON** : …did he say ‘days,’ really?  
i assumed we wouldn’t hear from him for another six months, surely

 **SANSA** : He really wants us to have lunch with him on Thursday.

 **THEON** : damn i guess so

 **ARYA** : ahhhhhh well, that’s that, then  
operation fuck has been a tremendous success  
or  
whatever, at least now i know what the fuck’s going on  
so cheers to that, lads

*****

**THEON** : welp

 **SANSA** : Yup.

 **THEON** : not as bad as we theorized, honestly

 **SANSA** : That’s true. For now, anyway. We’ll see what happens the first time you slap my arse in front of them.

 **THEON** : i wish i could say that i wouldn’t dare, but…  
i absolutely will

 **SANSA** : And I wish I could say that you’d better not, but… You have such nice hands, I can’t resist letting you do as you like with them.

 **THEON** : and they like to play you like a fiddle

 **SANSA** : Are you sure you don’t mind everyone knowing? (About us, I mean, not all that about your hands, we haven’t got to tell anybody about that.) Too late for anything to be done about it now, I know, but…

 **THEON** : ‘course i don’t mind. we knew we’d have to tell them sooner or later. least they had their fun playing really fuckin annoying detective, eh?

 **SANSA** : Hahaha. I suppose so, yeah.

 **THEON** : :)  
so, wanna head back here after your meeting?

 **SANSA** : That’s the plan, love.

 **THEON** : i’ll grab dinner

 **SANSA** : I’ve got dessert, then.

 **THEON** : i assume that’ll just be you in another something-lacy i haven’t seen yet

 **SANSA** : Don’t spoil the surprise, now.

 **THEON** : ::heart eyes::  
i love you

 **SANSA** : I know it.  
And I love you, too. xx

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: chapter 2 will be a prequel of sorts, aka how sansa and theon got it goin’ on in the first place


End file.
